Grow up

          Silly isn't it? I'm living in my own world. And I'm actually denying this fact all this while. I bet that's why Kenneth is sort of gave up on me and start calling me a spoiled brat.

I don't want to have any changes because I'm afraid of being hurt.

I want people to follow what I want because I will only feel secure.

          I'm too self centered and that's why my ex feels insecure. I'm just being too protective to myself. I'm afraid of being hurt so I'm always standing at the starting point. Not giving a damn to move even when people around me are giving their encouragement. Well, encountering this incident and meeting him is a hint from God. It's time to grow up. I've to make decision wisely and think on behalf on the others. I cannot just cling on a person but not giving him any commitments. This is wrong, totally wrong. -Trying to remember this in my mind-

"Love and relationship will hurt. 

To win something is to lose something first. "

          

          Well said. Thanks Alex. So this is a fact? I guess so. I agree with that. I wanna win so that's why I ended up hurting people around me. I'm so sorry for my selfishness. I'm going to change. I have to be responsible of every actions taken. I cannot just giving somebody else a false hope and ran away from it. People is expecting something in return but I'm actually taking things for granted. Anyway, he doesn't understand me well and same to me. It's best to not to take a step forward. So, the person you like might not be the person you spend the rest of your life with.

          I swear tonight WILL be the last night staying up so late and feeling so pain. This is insane, staying up so late and doing nothing like a vampire. Wennyyyyyyy oh Wennyyyyyyyy.  -Chop chop- No more feelings for him. NO MORE! 

Silly me. 

Hoping to see him at the school,

but ended up screwing everything myself.